One response could be to accept that your man needs to occasionally express his feminine side, give him specific opportunities to do so, but state that you do not wish to be directly involved.
CROSSDRESSERS TUMBLR FULL
The vast majority of cross dressers are ‘sometimes’ dressers, with no wish to live full time as women. The better alternative is to accept the situation, recognizing that this is not going to go away and that there is some wisdom in the old adage ‘if you can’t beat them, join them’. You will simply have driven him further into the depths of the closet. But he will not be able to in the long run. The worst thing you can do is to insist your man throw away his stash of feminine clothes and promise never to even think of doing such a thing ever again. Most cross dressers yearn to be better understood by their partners Their fear of damaging this relationship. Ironically, statistics show that the majority of cross dressers in a steady relationship greatly value their relationship with their partner. There is a long term for this condition, likely odd to you.ĭoes he still love you? Yes. However, cross dressers are often attracted to other men who cross dress, when dressed, though not to men dressed as men. Is he gay? Some cross dressers are, but most are not so inclined. He keeps these things hidden somewhere, fearing your reaction if discovered. He likely bought these things, one by one, on those rare occasions that the opportunity arose. Is he having an affair? No, those feminine items are not souvenirs of some sordid affair. Interestingly, our native, indigenous culture has long recognized ‘Two Spirit’ people, further recognizing that such people have value among them as those with an empathy for, respect for and understanding of both primary genders. Cruelly, our culture has defined ‘men’ in a very narrow and confining way. The same latitude is not given to men, and should they publicly wear anything that is in the slightest feminine, they are called ‘sissies’, ‘queers’ or other insulting names. Ironically, women in our modern culture can dress either in frilly feminine clothes or very masculine clothing without comment. Your man is a little way along that scale, to all intents and purposes a male and comfortable to be so, but with an added feminine component which our culture provides very little way for him to express. There is in fact a wide scale between what our culture has tended to simplify as a binary system of ‘male’ and ‘female’. It is not a perversion but an expression of something that is a part of him, something he probably realized as a teen or young man and something that he has likely been ambivalent about ever since, cycling through guilt and grudging acceptance several times over.
Interestingly, men who cross dress are far more common than one would think.
Your man cross dresses, expressing a deep seated feminine side of him that you did not know about because he has endeavoured to keep it a secret from you, fearing to damage a relationship he holds as very important to him. Does he not love me?įirst, calm down and realize that it is unlikely to be the end of your world or the end of your relationship. The revelation is probably a shock and leaves you with a turmoil of feelings and questions. That in turn will depend on a number of variables including your upbringing, your faith, your education, and your expectations of your relationship. Quite how you discovered this is not important, so much as how you react to it. This is addressed to the wife, partner, girlfriend or other who has just discovered that the man in your life secretly wears feminine lingerie at times.
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